It's Hard Being Barney - Part 4
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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

There is no question that Barney is my special needs dog.  I could write a book about the ways that it’s hard being Barney.  This particular story, though, will prove to you beyond all doubt that Barney is a few yards short of a full load.  The lights are on but nobody’s home.  He’s a bubble out.  However you want to put it, Barney’s a lot of work.

Back in July – and that’s over 3 months ago, not that I’ve been counting every single day – we installed a dog door.  After years of constantly getting up to let a dog in or out, it seemed time.

All right, already!

Friends of mine gave me this sign after visiting and watching in disbelief as I spent half my life playing doorman for dogs.  I did it so automatically that I didn’t realize how much time I was spending catering to critters.

I finally decided that a dog door was in order.  After all, they already had their own drinking fountain.

dog entrance

I chose to install the dog door going into my office, which used to be an aviary. 

lucky dogs

This works perfectly because the sand floor has been converted to a brick floor.  There is a sliding glass door from the house into the office, along with several windows.  If dogs have been swimming, or just have wet feet, I can simply close the sliding screen door and make them bed down in my office until they have dried sufficiently to be allowed into the house.

Door's open!

In the winter, there is heat to keep them warm, and in the summer the room is nice and cool.  At night, of course, the door is locked to keep out any wild critters who might be tempted to explore inside our house.

This all sounds great, doesn’t it?  And, for the most part, it is.  The door was installed and I set about explaining to the pack how things were going to work from here on out.  I barely got finished with my lecture when Linus, Butterfly’s new dog, burst through the door like he’d been using one since birth.  Maybe he has.

Next came teaching my dogs how to use the dog door.  At first we propped both doors open, so the dogs could just come and go without having to push through the doors.  Once they learned the access point, we then closed the doors and showed them how to push through.

Romeo and Mayday were the next to figure it out, probably because they had used one at their previous home.  This one is a little different than theirs was (double doors rather than a hanging flap), but mostly they thought they had to have permission to come through.  Once they figured out that it was theirs to use at their will, they were good to go.

I don’t think Lucky and Hellan had ever used a dog door, so they took a week or so to figure it out.

Barney, however, wasn’t having any of it.  Unless we held the doors completely open for him, he refused to come through the opening.  Even then, he first went to the human door next to it and tried to get us to open that for him.  Then he would run in circles a few times, perhaps gathering his courage. 

I can be as stubborn as Barney, though, and was determined that he was going to learn to use the dog door.  I gave Electric Horseman strict orders to not crumble when Barney begged at the other doors to be let in.  The command for all the dogs is, “Go to the Doggy Door!”

So for months now I’ve still been letting the dogs in, letting the out – just at the dog door instead of all the other doors in the house.  They know how to use the dog door, but they come to the other doors or windows to look at us and to ask to come in.  Then we have to say and motion to them, “Go to the Doggy Door!”  One of meets them at the door and tells them it’s ok to go through.  We’re finally getting to the point where just about everyone has figured out how to come and go on their own – hallelujah.

And then there’s Barney.  Poor, dumb Barney.  We were still opening both doors wide for Barney and coaxing him to come through.  I started letting the doors go so he would know how they felt as he passed through them. 

You might ask why I didn’t use food to train Barney.  Well, good idea, except Barney barely eats his daily ration of food – he’s not a food-driven dog.  Performing for treats is not his idea of fun.

Then I progressed to only opening one of the doors and coaxing Barney through.  I swore the dumb dog was never going to figure this out.  But I did manage to get him to come through if just one door was open.  Progress, yes, but still …

Maybe Barney can read ...

I was still let Barney in and letting Barney out.  Seems kind of pointless to have a dog door if one of your dogs doesn’t know how to use it.

But I didn’t give up.  I knew there had to be a brain in Barney’s skull.  I just had to switch it on.  So every day I tortured him by being outside with all the dogs and trying to get him to come through the dog door all by himself.  He would be inside barking, howling, and complaining.  But guess what?!

I couldn't believe my eyes!

The other day he finally did it!

He's a blur!

He actually stuck his head through and leaped through the dog door!  There was much rejoicing with the pack.  Barney barked and leaped and ran in circles. 

Are you lookin' at me?

And then he gave me the stink eye.